Personal Glimpses
I wrote this well over three years ago as an introduction to a rather unusual and eclectic group on that all american fuck finders and general debauchery hook up / dating / blogging site. It fit me then and still does today. So here it stands
A proper introduction? As you can see from my sign up date, I’ve been here a bit writing and reading and I can safely say that you are all at least as odd as I am. That in itself feels comforting and familiar. I have always felt a bit odd, different, out of sync, out of place, out of step, out of tune, off kilter, and unbalanced. I tend to push every boundary I can, every chance I get. Those who know me know that unless they stop me dead in my tracks, look me in the eye, tell me “No” AND explain why I can’t…well, it’s not without understanding consequences or anything. I am fully *aware* of the consequences. It’s just that unless it involves potential death, jail time, or hurting another human, I don’t really think it matters all that much. Perhaps that’s why I’m on my 9th life? Maybe we have more than 9? Who knows?
I’m an avid readier who prefers Sci-Fi or short stories of any genre for escapist reading. I love books of a spiritual nature too, but in the absence of anything on my “preferred” list, I’ll pretty much read whatever I can find. My absolute worst anxiety attacks revolve around running out of reading material, not running out of cigarettes. Cereal boxes do not count as reading material. *laughing*
Aside from reading, writing, hiking, shopping, reading, sketching, hanging at the beach, reading, writing, spending too much time on the computer, and BEing, you will find me fooling around with plants in some fashion. I’m either sketching them, picking them, saving seed from them, planting and transplanting them or making them have sex against their will as often as possible.
I’ve never thought of myself as a creative person until quite recently. I’ve managed to play the music in front of me but never really allowed myself to feel the music in front of me. I find myself now almost half crazed in some ways consumed with allowing myself time to be creative. And being less fearful of putting whatever it is I’m working on out there for all to see. I always thought perfectionism was a strength. Now I’m not so sure.
I can be an intensely private person, despite my apparent transparency. I’ve also been told I’m “big” in the presence. A shock for most considering my small stature. I’m not sure I like it particularly. But then again, it’s not *my* description. I find I can use that to my advantage. And sometimes I find…it uses me.
I’m not a loner per se, although *most* of the time I am more than comfortable in solitude. I seem to need that a lot. Once in sensory overload I retreat, sometimes for days, to recharge. Most call me anti-social, but I’m really not. I just don’t gather strength from or recoup *with* others as a general rule. When I want to be with others I seek them out. It’s just that I never force it if I don’t. *shrugs*
Friends and lovers are few but tend to become very long term, intimate, trusting relationships. I get along with most rather well, but I really tend to stick with others who are different either in philosophy, humor, life experience or temperament. Stubborn ones just don’t really bother me, as long as they can take what they give with good nature. I love nothing more than debate for the sake of it. I can and will play devils advocate. I often choose those who can as well, because it is after all, debate and discourse…..nothing personal. I tend to not care so much what you believe as long as you believe. I don’t do “flat”. Passion counts.
