Tending the Garden
Thursday 28 February 2008
My decision to uproot what I had known for nearly 32 years living in Colorado and move to Hawaii, was a profound dissatisfaction with my life as I knew it. Work became more and more un-satisfying, tedious, un-fulfilling, stressful. Romantic prospects were thin. Being separated with another pending divorce staring me in the face left me unwilling to give anything to most people. I wasn’t ready. I had abandoned all the things that provided joy in my life. Sewing, hiking, gardening, writing, sketching, etc had gone by the wayside. I seemed to have gone by the wayside as well. No matter how hard I tried, I remained stuck.
A few months after separating from my husband, I stepped out to attempt dating and sex (well, mostly sex). I got more than I expected. *laughing* It was here a friend nudged me towards a meditation class. At the same time, he provided both hard and gentle reminders on how to become better at acceptance. This was the beginning of a deeper introspection, and the means to lift myself from a 5 year simmering depression all intertwined and revolving around a failing marriage. It was only after viewing the movie, The Secret, that I made the final connection about having a great deal of personal power. And that I could, in fact, do what I desired. It was as easy as asking with clarity and intention. And being open to seeing what was presented. So I did.
I took a long needed vacation to visit my friend who had relocated in Hawaii…a treat for myself in celebration of upcoming 50th birthday. And my very first real vacation ever with no agenda, no husband, no children, no family obligations. It was also a very safe place to explore inside myself. I needed the introspection. It was there I decided to take advantage of a totally unexpected offer from a former coworker. He would help transition me into Hawaii should I want to move. Out of the blue. Or did I ask for that? *grins* Wheels set in motion on a beach that day.
This very day last year (2007) I suffered a stroke at work. While minor in severity, it left pointed reminders of life’s fragile nature. I still struggle with very short term memory lapses. Finishing a sentence can be incredibly difficult some days. So although I had already decided to move, this event hurled me forward with greater intensity. I asked, the door opened, I received.
I believed with all my heart that a change…in scenery, in altitude, in climate, and away from the noise of familiarity was the only way to Tend the Garden so to speak. That Garden is Me.
Part of what I’m doing here is tapping into something more creative by tuning myself to better perceive what I want and what is presented. Perhaps I could have accomplished the same staying in Colorado. Don’t rightly know. There are many days when my heart aches for that familiarity and a special love….But, I do know that I find creativity not only in the silence between the beats, but mostly on the beach where waves roll in the background. Where the sun warms my body and mind. Where the sand is fine and soft. Where I receive gifts from the Mother…The Ocean. There is a fluidity here on many levels that soothes me. The time was right. A few weeks ago, a special friend remarked on how well I “fit” here. He told me that if God were to decide to drop me anywhere…it would be where I’m at right now. *smile*
I want this little stretch of beach to remain a quiet, peaceful place were I can relax into it and tend my garden.
Aloha and Namaste,
Rosa
Friday, 29 February 08 at 05:32
Aloha! *smiles*
*wide smiles* Greenwoman, so glad you found me here. Thank you for stopping by. Yanno, had you not moved here, I’m not sure I would have found this place. And hopefully I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew with all this *laughs* But I’m pleased to finally be started with it all.
((hugs))
Friday, 29 February 08 at 08:17
waves to shannee….hey sis
Rosa…….smooches and congrats on the new digs.
we
YAY! You found it! Gives me hope that all is working as it should. Larger learning curve here for sure.
Glad you like. I think I’m really going to enjoy this one too…
Actually, I thought of you when I picked the header picture. *smiles*
Oahu’s Windward side before turning onto the North Shore area.
Saturday, 15 March 08 at 11:47
Aloha Rosa! As in one of my favorite Moody Blues songs:
“Lovely to see you again my friend. Walk along with me to the next bend..”
Catch ya on the beach. xoxoxo
PS- Started the New Earth book yet? ;)
((Gene)) *wide grin and big hugs* I’m tickled you stopped by.
Yes, the beach for sure!!
No *sticks out tongue* LOL.
xoxoxo
Sunday, 10 August 08 at 02:03
Beautiful! :-)
Thank You! *g*