I am really trying to find a space within myself right now to not feel so friggin’ selfish, and to balance understanding for others and their needs with my needs/wants/desires.
No it’s not always solely about me. But I like reciprocity. So why do I question that it isn’t?
The tough part is figuring out with who and how selfish I need to be to protect myself. And do I need to protect myself? After all has anyone done me harm? That would be no in case you are wondering. So it all boils down to whether I like the outcome or not, right? My choice.
Where do I put everything aside and just be a friend. Generous, kind, understanding and loving. How do I understand…it’s just not wanted…without being slapped in the face repeatedly?
I told a someone a few days ago when he asked how it all was going, that in order to really be a friend I need to start acting the part.
I even wrote this in a blog recently, once the assumption is made we build the rest of our life around it and very neatly blind ourselves to any other explanation.
Theres a line from a book I like, by nature and essence, contradictions don’t exist…whenever you think you have a contradiction, check your premises. One of them is wrong.
Simply put…don’t make assumptions.
Guess I should look a my own words again because obviously I’m not there yet.