It’s been months since I had a really bad day. Not from any particular stress, just one of those days when life…mine…feels fragile. Where I feel emotionally fragile.
It started with tension between a friend Wednesday afternoon. And continued well into Thursday as I was still a bit hurt by his abruptness on the phone. To top it off, I misunderstood plans for a day at the beach. Normally no big deal…but it all left me in tears and sobbing hysterically in my roommate’s arms later that morning.
It wasn’t any of those things at all. It was just an I-don’t-know-what’s-wrong-because-everything-is wrong, day of days. Everything and nothing at all…
Later that day while attempting to meditate and having salty tears again flow freely down my cheeks, I decided to seek some joy in the natural world around me. I don’t think Hawaii has anything remotely close to a “bad” sunset. I grabbed my keys, donned slippahs and headed the 3 blocks to the beach.
Head down…unusual for me….down the block, across the street and past the little gray house where hundreds of pigeons flock. I always stop to gawk. It’s just such an unusual sight to see hundreds of pigeons coexisting with the cats on the porch and in the yard.
As I started down the last block to the beach I saw her walking towards me…A big, dark skinned woman…she wasn’t walking really, it looked as if she was rolling along…like a wave. The top of her moving in one direction, the bottom half in another direction, but oddly enough both halves in tune with each other…undulating in perfect harmony…fluid….
Her hair, piled high on her head was bound with a wide scarf matching her dress. Her dress the colors of the sunset. Bright to dark oranges swirled with a dark sunshine yellow, and flecked with lapis blue. I’m not sure what took me by surprise; her walk, her dress, her ‘light’, or whole of who she is. I found myself staring…thinking what she projected towards me…peace and happiness, laughter, sunshine….and then….I found myself slowly smiling at her, at those thoughts. When she smiled back…well….I had the feeling she knew now much I needed her infectious smile, her joyous and radiant light. And also that she knew I was grateful for it. I could feel myself lighten. *smile* I’m sure too, it showed.
She meant more than the sunset that night…pretty close to the picture above…stunning…but not near as much as my smiling sunset stranger. Funny…I’m split on this….I hope I see her again….I hope I don’t. *shrugs*
I’m grateful for being allowed to ‘see’.
For Greenwoman…..perhaps so….