Show Me the Balance

So where it is?

Where is the line between being able to honestly express feelings and biting my tongue to be kind, loving and supportive?

Do I say nothing at all?

Do I just reserve it hoping it doesn’t fester later?

Or is it all about someone else not wanting to hear they fucked up?

My lesson is life is continual work on monitoring my re-action and thinking before I speak. I get that.

BUT, There is some bullshit in all of this for me. Everyone else is allowed to express themselves….say whatever the fuck they want whenever they want…in the name of speaking the “truth”.
But I’m told not to take anything personally. I can’t be this or that, or feel this or that, I can’t say this or that in this way or that way.

Can I never express how I feel?

Do I *always* have to monitor myself simply because another person doesn’t want to hear what needs to be said?

You would rather have me do a slow simmer and then punish you in some other way later. No, you would rather I have no reaction. Sorry, that is not always possible.

Better I say what I mean, get it over with, and move the fuck on…let it go.

For whatever reason, you are not supposed to be here today.

Fine.

I think I am allowed to be angry you missed your flight, and disappointed over you not getting here today. But I’m not going to let it linger too long either.

Could you have a little trust that I won’t remain angry for any length of time?

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2 Responses to Show Me the Balance

  1. I love you too. This is what my book is about sweet friend. Log in to Laughing stone and get a down load of it for free. Its still in great need of some editing, but its done….((hugs))

    I started reading the intro the other day. It promises to be better than good!! Only minor editing. *grin*

    Like

  2. Chicky…this sounds like an Empathy issue. We are big when we feel…and most of us share that essence so powerfully it feels like a railroad hit them.

    So nope. Its not fair, but its true that it makes folks uncomfortable and they disallow us to emote around them because we leak so damned much when we’re upset.

    Others can say whatever they want because their listeners aren’t forced to join them by an energy exchange they didn’t ask for.

    Its one of the sucky parts of being empathic.

    The only answer is to keep working with that Invocation and try to keep yourself surrounded in its energy because it filters for us and makes us right size with those around us energetically.

    But it still sucks to not be able to be big with those we love most.

    ((hugs))

    You are wise…as is he. This was explained to me (again…again…again) with nearly the same words this week. I need to work hard on this one…I am….mostly…unapproachable….sadly, it comes off as being intimidating even with those who know me well. I cannot afford it relationally any more…

    I Love You. *soft smile*

    Like

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