surrender in friendship…

sur·ren·der (sə rendər)

transitive verb

  1. to give up possession of or power over; yield to another on demand or compulsion
  2. to give up claim to; give over or yield, esp. voluntarily, as in favor of another
  3. to give up or abandon
  4. to yield or resign (oneself) to an emotion, influence, etc.

None of these really work for me as all imply an “unwillingness” or something someone else “gains” in the process…..

I’m looking for something which implies more of a “trust” in doing so…..


How can I process without a definition?

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8 Responses to surrender in friendship…

  1. Greenwoman says:

    Yesterday, I got a totally brief read on this one and busted out laughing…

    I guess your perplexity was just so cute and innocent and adorable. I needed the giggle but I didn’t have time to write what others have already said. Guess there was no need. Plenty of others with the same wisdom I’m working with.

    I could add that I think that surrender in friendship is likely the same as it is in other sorts of relationships…but with a big difference. We somehow give our friends more space, less expectations and fewer tadoo’s and rules than we do our romantic partners or our relatives. That leaves us both freer in those relationships and also less secure in many ways.

    Its a whole other journey of surrender in a friendship than it is with our relatives or lovers isn’t it?


  2. tobeme says:

    I agree to surrender is to let go and let be. When we let go we open the door to simply “Be”.


  3. Louise says:

    Do you mind if I join you?

    The image of M:e fits amazingly well with that other kind of surrender, the passionate one. I’ve described the whole thing with D. as a river of no return… I found myself in that river from the first moment we ‘met’ and, no matter what, the river takes me along… wildly, ruthless, turbulent… Some parts make me feel like drowning, other parts are quiet and full of peace, and sometimes I wash ashore on the bank, but never for long… and there seems nothing I can do about it.The crazy thing is that this is not just a metaphor, it actually *feels* exactly like that… sometimes I’m just surprised I’m not soaked through. *blinks*

    Rosa, I love your writing.


    • Rosa says:

      Of course you are welcome here Louise. Any time and I’m delighted to see you! *smile*
      A river of no return…..yes. This I have in friendship. But not in love…never have….So I understand but don’t understand all the same.

      Thank you. Glad you glean something here with my ramblings.



  4. Rosa says:

    Perfect!! Yep, it’s not about ceding to one or the other for their gain. I think most often, we are unaware we’ve let go of the trust issues we normally have with intimacy when it’s” friendship”. Why? is that easier than in “relationship”……

    PS: you should, I think many of us will get it. :)


  5. M:e says:

    How about to let go and immerse yourself in an experience?

    I’ve often thought of surrender a bit like a leaf dropping into a stream. It falls from the tree because the time is right for it to do so….its part of the life process. It has no control over where the stream will take it, and the journey is an experience shared by them both.

    I’ve often wanted to write a piece about this, had it in my mind for a number of years, but I’m not sure many would get it.

    love and hugs xxx



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