the gifts

The day before she left on her long journey, he gave her a small box and a card. In the box was a beautiful ankle bracelet with hearts of copper, silver and gold strung together on a delicate gold chain. The card was filled with his admiration for her and appreciation for the time they spent together. Touched at the thoughtfulness of the gift, she cried. No man had ever given her a gift of jewelry just because she was worth it with not strings, no promises, and no expectations. She cried even harder because he gleaned that from her writings, and remembered.

She left on her journey wearing the gift, but a few weeks later it was taken from her in the surf. She cried as she told him what happened that day. She was upset not just for being careless with his gift, but she perceived the loss as an omen because she was alone, and afraid. It was in her loneliness and fear that she conjured the end of a cherished friendship. After all, he was a million miles away and she would never see him again. But she always carried the card he gave her that evening.

Despite her fear of never seeing him again, she returned not once, but many times to always find a friendship which never failed her.

There had been times over the years, some very recently, when she wondered if she was worth as much as the others. Things she perceived she wanted but did not have. She struggled with trying to find balance between feeling selfish, and being gracious and accepting and loving. She struggled with feeling needy and wanted…not wanting but wanting more.

Born out of conversations about listening and also of perceived self worth, she looked at the friendship which grew out of a mistaken identity almost 4 years ago. She examined all that was and all that is. She heard the laughter, saw the tears, and felt the trust and Love between them. She read his card again and thought about long past and very recent conversations. Those questions rooted in envy and jealously…in neediness and wanting…in low self worth and lack of confidence….became less emotionally packed as she better understood both words and actions combined. And what he gives her.

He gives her his time and attention even when it means putting others off.
He gives her his care and strength especially in times when she was too sick to care for herself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
He gives her his patience by letting her take baby steps and extending his arm when she stumbles.
He gives her his wisdom and counsel; letting her make her mistakes without telling her, I told you so.
He gives her his trust. Trust to step up and do the right thing. Trust with his sacred space. Trust with his children. Trust with his secrets and dreams. Trust with his heart and trust she will not hurt him.
He gives her his acceptance and forgiveness for being human.
He gives her profound respect as a person and more so as a Powerful Woman-not to be cheapened with cheap acts or deeds. He respects her as the Gift she is to himself and all mankind.
He gives her honesty even when she doesn’t want to hear…..

There are many more gifts he bestows upon her. Affection. Tenderness. Pride in her accomplishments. Smiles. Hugs. Kindness. Too many gifts to mention.

She feels in her heart what he has always given her cannot be measured against flowers, or cards, or other material possessions. She knows in her heart the gifts he gives her are worth much, much more than what he gives others. But that it really doesn’t matter at all….what matters is what they gift each other with their hearts.

Through him and his gifts, she better knows herself as a Woman. It feels a lot more balanced, gracious, and filled with gratitude. It feels calmer and more peaceful. It feels like a more authentic way to giving and accepting, and Loving to myself and others.

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