It is not at all related to gender. It is related to the demeanor. I had an interesting experience last week with suspension and a really nice mind-fuck from a woman I never expected to be able to drop me to my knees that quickly. She took full advantage of what I did not see but didn’t overstep either. I LOVED it.
I am not interested in topping or dominating men because it’s a turnoff for me. I am sure I could. *shrugs*
I am not particularly interested in topping or dominating women although there are a few I can and have.
Suddenly, I am meeting more instead of fewer who seem to more easily inspire my submissiveness. Those who get it and me almost instinctively(?).