It isn’t position or place I seek in all of this. First or Second isn’t a goal.
Neither is bigger, faster, stronger. I am big, fast and strong in my own right. Doing better? Sure. Growing. Of course. Competition with another? Not so much.
To know this One is adored, cherished, and loved at all times and beyond reason is enough.
You always held me close in your heart even tho miles and prior commitments separated us. You always made the time, as I did for you.
That meant more to me than any tangible gift given or even the sexual pleasures we shared. It still does.
I’ve been comparing lately…not always a wise choice between this one or that one. But comparing lifestyle choices and mindsets. What about it that makes my time with him ok and not ok with another. Why do I want more with him and not more with another?
Dead man, you filled me at every chance and accepted me filling at every chance. You did that with grace and appreciation for Love itself instead of outcome; no matter where I was or who I was with. You allowed me to do the same for you without question.
As it should be. You taught me well, Dead Man.
I have no desire to change.
I have no desire for the constraints of monogamy…..