vindicated

It makes my heart hurt. To have been doubted. To have been dismissed as jealous and possessive when I spoke to what I saw or heard, and knew in my heart to be true.

It hurts he would think of me this way.  It hurts to think I should have told him what he wanted to hear.  And when I didn’t; labeled as something I am not, dismissed out of hand and tossed aside.

Shouldn’t I feel better about it all now that I was right?  Shouldn’t I feel some joy that validation?

I don’t….

I think it sucks.

I am sad for all involved.

I am sad to have not stood firmly on what I knew to be true in the first place.

I am sad to have not trusted myself in this and instead, looked for some hidden reason I might be manipulative, jealous, possessive, mean, selfish, uncaring, ungracious….

Still, right now, I would rather have found out I was wrong because this is hurting him more.

 

 

 

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to vindicated

  1. Sometimes it hurts so much more when we’re proved right than when we’re wrong. I’m sorry its made you sad and hurt sweety. Much love and hugs xxx

    Like

    • Rosa says:

      Yes, indeed it does. Sometimes being “right” doesn’t really matter all that much.

      ((Hugs and kisses)) back atcha.

      Like

      • In recent times, I was right too. It hurt to be vindicated…but mostly I just feel sad about it all. I feel sad most of all to think that one can be very, very right…utterly right and utterly ethical…and yet still be wrong to be in the middle. Not because it’s the wrong place to be ethically…but because it’s the wrong place to be energetically…because it takes the focus off of joy…off of wellness…off of practice…off of blessings…off of progressing…all because it takes just too damned much energy to deal with the shit storm.

        Despite all the chaos, I am glad to be where I am…but I regret that I didn’t take the path I was meant to…the path which would have left me very strong this whole while…and still in the very same place ultimately: By his side.

        And vindicated.

        And strong.

        This is my story…not a reflection on yours. Just musing aloud…and considering this latest time of regression from my personal path…what caused it, where it took me and why.

        Much hugs for your sore heart dear one. :)

        Like

speak!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s