I’m a bit reluctant to post this but what the hell. I’ve been stewing in it for about a month now and it’s time to give it a rest.
A few weeks before Christmas, I was sitting having a smoke in front of the fan we placed in the front window so we don’t have to freeze our asses off outside.
I smiled when I saw the crystal hanging in the tree. Catching and reflecting the last of the Sun’s afternoon rays from each point as it swayed and turned ever so slightly in the breeze. Wow! I turned my head this way and that to see how she had done it. From just one angle I could see the thin fishing line through a hole in one of the points that went up and around the tree branch. Ahhhh. I saw where she tied the line off and a length left hanging. Then I wondered when she hung it (I had been in Denver the past few days), and how she got it over the branch in just the right place because the only ladder we own was at a friends where I was doing some work. From that one angle I could see it was roughly 4-5″ or so in diameter, had six points and was about 1/2 inch or so thick. I could see it was a star and not a snowflake as I originally though.
Very typical of my roommate. Only she would do this and not say a word. After all, there are black hearts in the pine tree out back too. No idea when she did that either, but they are there nonetheless.
It was the next day when we were both sitting with our mid morning coffee at the window when asked how she did it. How did she hang the star.
Sighing with a bit of exasperation at having to repeat myself because I know she heard me the first time, I pointed to the tree.
The STAR. HOW did you hang it?
The friendly accusation about my sanity was immediate and so sincere, it stopped me cold.
My turn. *blink*
I pointed to the tree branch. She stood and looked. I looked with her.
There was no star in the tree. She insisted she had not hung a star from the branch. Or anything else.
After blinking a few more times in utter disbelief at the fact that there was NO star in the tree *insert nervous laugh here*, I attempted to explain what I had seen.
No. I wasn’t dreaming. I saw what I saw. HUH?
Her explanation was that not everything could be explained. There was really no doubt. I wasn’t crazy. It couldn’t be explained. Ok? It couldn’t be explained. So what?
Later that day I donned heavy socks and a jacket and searched the yard convinced it must be on the ground somewhere. The line broke and I would find it on the ground in the yard. Broken or unbroken, it was my only logical explanation. Until I froze my ass off outside searching, and searching, and walking in circles looking for something that I couldn’t find. It. Wasn’t. There.
She chuckled as I came back in the house. Out in the yard looking for the star, huh? Not there is it?
I shot her a slightly annoyed look at being busted. Because after all, I didn’t buy her explanation of no explanation. Even tho I said I did. Not really. And she knew it.
Over the next few weeks she would catch me looking. With a bit of a smile she would ask, Still looking for that star?
Even tho she doesn’t ask anymore I know she sees me looking because she still gives me this funny look like she’s waiting for me to just admit what I don’t want to admit. To “believe” in miracles. Yes, I’ve been out in the yard over and over again. It’s. Not. There.
I know what I saw.
I’ll chalk it up to my angel, Terry. Because I need an explanation.
Any. Explanation. Except the one where some things just can’t be explained. *sighs*